I went to bed admittedly a little late last night; between internetting, taking a shower, practicing guitar, and reading a few chapters in my book, it was about 12:30 before I curled up to sleep. This didn't last too long.
In my dreams there was someone banging on the wall. I remember going out of my dream-house and seeing huge dents and wondering what had made them. Finally, the banging woke me up, and I realized that the jackasses in the common room next door were pounding on the shared wall. I could hear them laughing and shouting. I checked my cell phone: 3 am.
Tried to go back to sleep, but the pounding kept jolting me awake. I considered putting on some more clothes and going to ask them to stop, which in my imagination mostly involved shouting expletives in English until I got my point across. But these are big German farmers, drunk and clearly in high spirits; I wasn't sure what would happen if I intruded on that. Also, I was just hoping they'd stop eventually.
They did...at about four. I got up at seven for my eight o'clock lesson and headed to school, having heard from Bethany that the same racket kept her up. I told my teacher about it, and got the answer I least wanted to hear: There's nothing you can do. Apparently, they do this every year as a way to blow off stress and have fun. They just don't give a shit that they're keeping other people awake, and even if I ask them to stop, they won't. They might invite me to join them, but they'll just keep on doing what they're doing anyway. This is how it's always been, from GDR times, and even then, calling the police didn't help, and it won't help now either. The message was basically, Get used to it, because this is just the beginning and there's nothing you can do about it.
Huh. Not what I wanted to hear.
I am therefore forced to acknowledge point-blank that this Fulbright year is not turning out as I'd hoped. I'm in a small, quiet town with not much to do. My students are for the most part apathetic and unwilling to put forth any real effort towards learning. They're not interested in me or my language. The few who are friendly, engaging, and fun are almost all concentrated in one class, which will be leaving at the end of January to do a practicum. What am I doing here?
Then I have to consider that I am very spoiled. I expect everything to go well for me, like it usually does, and when it doesn't, I don't know how to react. I haven't learned yet how to fight to make things better, because I've never had to before. Was this incident last night annoying, frustrating, infuriating? Absolutely. Is it the end of the world? Well, it feels a bit like it right now, but it's not really. I'm in a civilized, rich country that is at peace with its neighbors. My expenses are being paid just so I can be here to teach and learn--and this is definitely a learning experience. The countryside is beautiful and I have a three-day weekend coming up in which to travel to the Christmas markets around Thüringen with friends. I love doing Bienenkunde and spending time with the people who do it; I'm learning to play guitar with a wonderful teacher; I have a sweet, caring suitemate that I don't deserve; I'm warm and safe and I have friends and family back home rooting for me. Compared to all that's blessed and wonderful in my life, what's a missed hour of sleep on account of some farmers who have nothing better to do with their time than get drunk and piss other people off?
Nothing to cry about, that's for sure.
hm, maybe there is a bigger life purpose in being where you're at (aside from the list of joys you wrote at the end)...?
ReplyDeleteIf it helps: my students for English classes are all pretty apathetic, too. I have maybe 3 of 17 who 'try', but even then it's nothing thrilling for them. My favorite students right now are both post-docs in medicine who are in my PhD student class. They WANT to learn, not just feel obligated. And this is Marburg.